So this story came out a few days ago, but I just saw it for the first time today. A British sports book named Richard Madden, who is best known for playing Robb Stark in Game of Thrones, as the odds-on favorite to replace Daniel Craig as the next James Bond. The odds listed are as follows:
-Madden, 5/4
-Tom Hiddleston, 6-1
-Idris Elba, 6-1
-Tom Hardy, 12-1
-James Norton, 12-1
-Sam Heughan, 12-1
-Aidan Turner, 12-1
-Any female actor, 16-1
-Cillian Murphy, 20-1
-Michael Fassbender, 20-1
-Jack Huston, 20-1
-Daniel Kaluuya, 25-1
I have a few thoughts about this list of names. I’m not sure that Madden is the best choice to play Bond. For me, he doesn’t quite have the right mix of good looks and suave-yet-dark personality. If I had to pick one name from that list that best exemplifies Bond, it would be Idris Elba, but I don’t see that happening on account of how many people would be annoyed about a black guy playing the role. The same goes for the “any female actor” option: choosing a woman to play Bond would ruffle too many feathers for the producers of the film to think it was worth it.
At the end of the day, while Madden wouldn’t be my first choice to play James Bond, I think he could end up doing a good job. He was very good in Game of Thrones, and he starred in the BBC series Bodyguard as an Afghanistan vet and bodyguard. I haven’t watched Bodyguard at all, but it’s been very well-received by critics, so it would be interesting to see what Madden would do as Bond.
So Joel Embiid is on the first-ever digital cover of GQ Magazine. If you have the time to read it, I highly recommend it, as it’s very entertaining. As you might expect with Joel, there were several great quotes sprinkled in throughout the feature. Here are the best quotes from the article:
The smell of chicken in Joel Embiid’s apartment is overwhelming—less someone-cooked-chicken-earlier and more someone-is-running-a-small-Wingstop. Unsurprisingly, there on the top of his marbled counter rest two plates of chicken wings. There are also three plates of cajun pasta and a plate each of Brazilian cookies—”they’re trash,” Embiid says upon trying one—croissants, apples, and clementines hovering nearby, not to mention the beef skewers, crepes, and the rest of the leftovers I barely make out in a brief glimpse into the fridge.
The article talks a lot about Embiid’s eating habits: it touches on his love of Shirley Temples (“Embiid used to drink one (a single Shirley Temple, not a pitcher’s worth) almost every day but has since cut back to merely “once in a while,” he tells me while grabbing a bottled water from the fridge, as if to prove his point”), Bill Self calls him “the least mature eater he’s ever seen,” and it talks here about the sheer volume of food in Embiid’s apartment. I’m sure a 7’2″ athlete eats more than your average person, but good God, JoJo must do nothing but eat, play FIFA, and play basketball.
Embiid admits that dating while in the NBA is not without its challenges. “You gotta do your background check,” he says. “You don’t want to be that guy marrying a girl that someone else in the NBA has been with…. I’m sure some guys end up getting married to women that have been around. And maybe on the court they also get told”—here he lowers his voice to a whisper—”Hey, I fucked your wife.”
Embiid has emerged as one of the league’s premier shit-talkers during his time in the NBA, both online and on the hardwood (A quote from this article: “I love when people talk trash…. I love when people tell me that I was gonna be a bust,” he says. “I enjoy when people tell me, you suck, you can’t dribble, you can’t shoot, because it’s like: gotta go to the gym.”). When it comes to his dating life, he knows he can’t be anyone’s second choice- he’s already clowned on too many people to make things that easy for his on-court and online opponents.
“[In] Cameroon, we don’t know shit about space. I don’t even know if there’s a Cameroonian astronaut. That’s what I wanted to become. I wanted to become president, and I wanted to become an astronaut. Because I was really good at math.”
The article talks a good deal about Embiid’s life in his native Cameroon. It opens up with the mention of his tall tale about needing to kill a lion to gain acceptance into his tribe, and goes on to talk about his childhood and how he came to play basketball. This is his standout quote about his time in Cameroon, complete with that trademark Embiid candor.
“I’m so much better than I was last year,” he says. “I just look at myself, like the only thing that can stop me is like…”—and here he pauses to think of something that can stop him—“nothing. That’s why I’m excited.”
GOLDEN STATE AND BOSTON ARE SHAKING IN THEIR BOOTS!!! HAND US THE LARRY O’BRIEN ALREADY!!!!!
Seriously though, Embiid has likely played less than 200 games of organized basketball in his life. The fact that he’s already at an All-NBA level and he still has so much room to grow is a crazy thought. I’m very excited for what he and the Sixers have in store for this season.
I don’t know what has gotten into me but we’re rolling now people. Saturday is filled with some good opportunities and some what I like to call “gambling nightmares.” The biggest matchup probably being Michigan State v. Michigan. I will not go into the depth of the games I usually go into since there are a lot of games and also I really just don’t have the time (Its Friyay!).
We’ll start at the 12:00 games
Oklahoma 9 vs. TCU: OK -8.0 T:61.5
I love the over here, Oklahoma can really light it up with their run game and can air it out when they have to. I think they put up more than half the points for the over. I’m nervous about the spread, they lost to Texas last week in a tough one. I think they’re excited to get back on the field and stay in the top 10 however. I LOVE LOVE LOVE them in a teaser.
Wisconsin 23 vs. Illinois: Wisc -24.5 T:56.5
Love the badgers spread here. Tough loss last week to Michigan. They’re at home and looking to get the train rolling again.
Michigan v. Michigan State: Mich -7.0 T:40.5
Michigan on the road scares me and these two teams have historically close games. Love the Spartans in this game. I don’t really think Michigan is the typical milk steak Jim Harbaugh shit pumping team this year. The over/under is a gambling nightmare, stay away from it. Roll with the Spartans here.
Now for the later games…
N.C. State 16 vs. Clemson 3: Clem -17.5 T:57.5
Game won’t even be close. In Death Valley the Wolfpack is going to crumble. Clemson is starting to really click and I think NC State’s coaches are going to get sued for child endangerment after this game. Take the spread. Go Tigers!
Alabama 1 v. Tennessee: Bama -28.5 T:57
Take the over and Bama here. Tennessee buuuhhllowwwss this year. My high school team could run these chumps up and down the field. Bama to cover the over by themselves and go up on Tennessee by 29 points after the first half.
Jesus Christ Saban, have a beer
Night games…
Miss State vs. LSU 5: LSU -6.5 T: 45.5
*Coach O’s ridiculous cajun voice I can’t understand* GO TIGERS! I think LSU rolls these guys in the battle in the bayou. Love the Tigers this season and they’ve paid out great, L$U to cover the spread easily.
Oregon 12 v. Washington State 25: WSU -3.0 T:68.0
Remember earlier when I said take the Sooners in a teaser, yea throw them in here with the Ducks. I just can’t see them not covering the spread here. They may even win outright. I think the teaser is really solid insurance here. 2 team 6 point is where you make your money here.
Make some money on Saturday everyone and lets keep it rolling!
Sember’s picks record before writing on this blog: definitely just below .500 (down a lot)
Sember’s picks record since writing on this blog: 3-0-0: (up 3.5 units)
Hello everybody, welcome back to the second edition of Sember’s picks. If you were smart and listened to me, you’d be up some money and you could throw on this game. However, if you’re down, you should listen to me to get you out of the hole you’re in. Avoid that text from your bookie that everyone hates.Either way, looks like you’re listening to me.
Denver Broncos vs. Arizona Cardinals: 8:20 pm: Broncos -1
Broncos -1 -110
Good god do I love spreads that are a point or less. I think of it basically as a straight up money line pick. I am all over the Broncos. I think they had a tough go around against the Rams last week only losing by a field goal. They’re on a four game losing streak and I DOUBT they keep the streak going against the irrelevant Arizona Cardinals. I love the combination of backs the Broncos have with Lindsey and Freeman. The Cardinals have one of the worst run defenses in the league and there is no way they really have an answer for these two backs. David Johnson has been subpar (I would know, I have him on my fantasy team) and Von Miller id going to make him his child. Get on the Broncs tonight
Broncos Team Total: Over 21.5 -115
This is going to be slight work for the Broncs. Three touchdowns and a point is going to be so goddamn easy for these guys. I cannot emphasize enough how much the Cardinals blow. I am thinking the Broncos game plan is going to be heavy runs with an occasional play action in there. The Cardinals know their run D sucks so you gotta think that they’re expecting a heavy run game. Cards are going to be spinning, the Broncos are going to be buzzing, it’s a lock.
Fun Bet: Royce Freeman, 1st TD +900
I think Case Keenum actually forgot how to throw the football. The Broncos are going to be a big pound and grind team tonight. I think they get into the red zone and pound it in with Royce Freeman. Hard not to when the man is 6 ft and 238 lbs, who also runs a 4.54 40-yard dash. Wow. I think he is the first one to pound it in tonight. If you are going to make a prop bet, this is the one I would go with.
– just look at the girth on this guy
Let’s keep the ball rolling here and get some money to throw this weekend.
The 2019 NBA season is officially underway and tip offs begin tonight at 8:00. Exciting things are happening this year people. The most significant being LeBron going to LA to pursue… I actually don’t know why he went there, but regardless he is not in that shit hole of a city Cleveland dealing with JR Smith. The Boston Celtics regain full roster health with the return of Gordon Hayward (imagine the Boston fans saying that name with their ridiculous accents) and are looking to win the East Division against what will be probably against the Philadelphia 76er’s. Fultz was the first person to ever get the yips in the NBA and it looks like he has overcame it and learned to shoot a basketball. Ben Simmons will be Ben Simmons and continues to run point. JJ Reddick being the most stereotypical white basketball player, popping threes, still love that guy though. Toronto will be an interesting team to watch now with Kawhi Leonard and Lowry in the back court. The East easily is up for grabs and it will be interesting to see down the stretch who is going to run the show.
BUT
None of it even matters because the Golden State Warriors have their starting 5 in their freaking prime and I will be surprised if they lose more than 12 games. Jesus Christ this team is not even fun to watch anymore. Curry, Thompson, Green, Durant, Boogie, and Andre Iguodala. How is this even allowed? God I hate the NBA so much, it’s such a joke of a league.
Imagine down the road the Western Conference Series. For the sake of this, we’ll take the Golden State Warriors vs. the LA Lakers. Lebron on Green most likely (I hate LeBron so much I hope Draymond does his notorious nut kick to him). LeBron finally gets Green in foul trouble, Curry is starting to slow down from buzzing around the court, and Kevin Durant is cramping up. This is the moment LeBron has been waiting for. He hears the substitution horn and he looks over to see who is checking in. Boogie, Klay Thompson, and Andre Igoudala all rested up and ready to go walk on to the court. I can’t even imagine the look on his face…..actually wait I can,
I love the internet but yep there it is. I probably won’t even watch the NBA until the Warriors are up 3-0 in the championship to whatever poor team they have to play. If you haven’t put in any prop bets, I would bet your second wife’s Lexus on the Warriors to win the chip before the line drops.
Our beloved Philadelphia 76ers begin their season this evening in Boston, tipping off at 8:00 p.m. against the Celtics, who eliminated the Sixers in 5 games in last season’s Eastern Conference Semifinals. These Sixers have the loftiest expectations the team has faced in a long time now. The over/under for their win total this season is set at 54.5, tied for second-highest in the Eastern Conference, and there has been talk about Joel Embiid as a dark horse MVP Candidate. So without further ado, here’s what we can realistically expect from the Philadelphia 76ers this season:
Individual Performances
The Sixers’ success last year came on the backs of a number of great individual performances. Embiid cemented himself as a legitimate top-3 center while proving that he could stay healthy for a majority of the season. Ben Simmons won Rookie of the Year with a season for the ages (and yes, he was absolutely a rookie and if you think otherwise you’re wrong). Robert Covington was named to the NBA All-Defense First Team. Plenty of other players made significant contributions, whether it was JJ Redick helping as a desperately-needed jump shooter, Dario Saric doing any number of things well, or TJ McConnell providing a spark off the bench. So what can we expect from this year’s team?
-I think Embiid and Simmons will both have even better years this year than last year. After having to focus last offseason on recovering from injuries, both players had a chance to fully commit themselves to developing different aspects of their game. This year, it wouldn’t be crazy to see Embiid average 25 points and 10 rebounds per game (he finished last year averaging 23 and 11) while Simmons will again flirt with averaging a triple double (he finished last year with 15.8 points, 8.1 rebounds, and 8.2 assists per game).
-After performing poorly at the start of last season and then missing a majority of it due to injury, expect to see Markelle Fultz bounce back to some degree. Fultz was the most highly-touted prospect of the 2017 NBA Draft, which is why the Sixers traded up to take him with the first overall pick. He had some issues both mentally and physically, but spent the offseason working with renowned shooting coach Drew Hanlen. I expect Fultz to turn into the playmaker the Sixers thought he was going to be when they first drafted him.
-Covington did not do too well in last years’ playoff series vs. the Celtics, and he has heard about it all summer long. I expect him to use the criticisms toward him as motivation, and I don’t think it’s far-fetched to see Cov as a Defensive Player of the Year Candidate.
Wins/Losses
If everything goes according to plan, I expect the Sixers to easily pass the 54.5 win mark set by Vegas. The problem is that things rarely go exactly according to plan. Embiid is injury-prone, and we really don’t know exactly how far Fultz has come (his gym footage from the summer looks good and the preseason was promising, but we still don’t know how well he’ll perform in real game action). The Celtics were the first team to effectively stop Simmons in the playoffs last year, and other teams might follow their blueprint. However, if things do go at least semi-according to plan, Things can go a lot of different ways, but I say the Sixers juuuuust barely make the over at 56 wins.
Playoff Seeding/Performance
As of now, it looks like the top three teams in the East are going to be the Sixers, the Celtics, and the Toronto Raptors. The Celtics are the favorites to win the conference after coming within a game of making the Finals last year without Kyrie Irving and Gordon Hayward (who are both now back from injury), and the Raptors added Kawhi Leonard, who finished in the top three in MVP voting in consecutive years before missing most of last year with the Spurs. I think the Sixers will end up with the second seed behind the Celtics and ahead of the Raptors. This would set up a second-round playoff series between the Sixers and the Raptors, which I think the Sixers would win in six games. I think the Sixers’ season ends in the Eastern Conference Finals against the Celtics. It would be tough to end the season against Boston for the second straight year, but the Celtics are too deep and the Sixers don’t quite have what it takes to beat them in a playoff series yet. There are a ton of big-name free agents in the 2019 offseason, which is where the Sixers could find their edge over the Celtics, but for now, Boston is too talented and deep.
Game 3 is all set to go in Houston at 5:09 pm, Eovaldi vs. Keuchel. Series all tied up at 1-1. Lot of opportunities to make some solid picks.
The Over: 8.5 -120
Love it. Hammer it. Both the games have been high scoring and given Keuchel’s track record and the Sox hot bats, it’s looking solid. The Red Sox own Keuchel and are my prediction is they put up at least six to seven runs. 66% of betting people are on it and god damnit I’m going to be one of them.
Red Sox +110
This is too good to be true. Red Sox at a positive money line. Keuchel has shit his pants this season and just is not the ace he used to be last year. THE SOX OWN HIM AND HIS BEARD. The Sox have hot bats after the last game and still riding high after their dominating series over the Yankees (pains me to admit it). Eovaldi looked good against them and he has improved significantly over the last year. Do not look at his stats, they’re misleading, he’s all over the ‘Stros tonight. Don’t be stupid, get rich.
Fun pick: Team Scoring First Wins Game: Yes, -245
Having a little fun here. Sox and Astros both have great hitting (another reason the over is a lock) and can really get the momentum going. Obviously from the line, Vegas seems to be pretty confident here.
I’ll be posting more of these as the post season goes on, hopefully I keep all you guys in positive units.
More to come this weekend with college football, NFL, and maybe some hockey if I’m feeling frisky.
Big Mouth’s second season debuted last Friday, continuing the stories of Andrew, Nick, Jessi, Jay, and their high school classmates. I was a huge fan of the show from the first time I watched it. It’s disgusting, yet sweet; it’s serious, yet funny; it’s outlandish, yet real. It’s a show about a bunch of 13 year old kids going through puberty, but it manages to resonate with adults. Show creators Nick Kroll and Andrew Goldberg (childhood friends whom the show is loosely based on) do a great job of covering a lot of ground in ten episodes.
Upon watching the show’s second season, I had a ton of unorganized thoughts/observations/reactions. I can’t seem to come up with a coherent way to write them, so I’m just gonna list them all in no particular order:
-I’ll start with the most obvious one: this season was much darker in tone than the first. We meet the Shame Wizard, who, as his name would imply, makes the kids feel shameful about the bad/gross things they do. We also see Jessi nearly fall into the hands of the Depression Kitty, and Missy has a recurring vision in her mirror that makes her feel self-conscious. Could Big Mouth be following the same route as BoJack Horseman, another Netflix animated sitcom that started out generally light but gradually became darker?
-There was a looooooooooot of nudity in this season, even by Big Mouth standards. The standout example of this comes in the season’s second episode, What Is It About Boobs? In this episode, we meet Gina, a girl in the kids’ class who develops a little bit earlier than the other girls in class. The other girls in class become self-conscious about their bodies, and Missy’s mom ends up taking Missy and Jessi to a women’s spa, where we see an entire musical number about women loving their bodies. We also see Nick and his dad expose themselves, as well as a good deal of Coach Steve’s man boobs.
-We barely saw The Ghost of Duke Ellington in this season after Duke was a frequent character in the first season. I can think of several reasons for this. Many people felt as though Duke slowed down a lot of storylines in the first season, so it would make sense for Kroll and Goldberg to write less of him in this one. Also, with Nick finally getting his own Hormone Monster, we didn’t need Duke as the confidant that gives the viewer a window into Nick’s inner thoughts.
-Nick goes through several Hormone Monsters in this season. He starts off with Coach Steve’s old Hormone Monster (who retires after Steve loses his virginity), then gets a new Hormone Monster named Tyler. Tyler first appears by coming out of Nick’s wardrobe, which I thought would mean that Nick was going to be gay. I turned out to be wrong about that theory (for now), but at the end of the season Connie (the Hormone Monstress) is reassigned as Nick’s Hormone Monster. Does this mean Nick is transgender? Does it just mean he’ll be in touch with his feminine side? Does it mean anything at all? Am I just wildly speculating? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see!
-The show gets more in-depth regarding several characters, including Coach Steve, Matthew, Lola, and the kids’ parents. It was cool to see more about these characters’ motivations and where they come from. (Side note: I loved the interactions between Andrew’s dad and Lola during Andrew and Lola’s brief relationship. Mr. Glouberman is up there with Creed Bratton and Jean-Ralphio Saperstein for me in terms of laughs per appearance.) (Other side note: the cast of this show is so good. There are too many people to list out, but look at the cast here.)
-It was funny to see the show become meta at some points, like when Nick basically turns into a real-life advertisement for Netflix during one of his conversations with Gina and the scene is abruptly cut short when he starts talking about sharing passwords.
Overall, this was a very solid season of TV. I personally enjoyed the first season better, but the second season was a nice follow-up and there’s definitely room for further development moving forward. I would give this season an 8.2/10, where the first was something like an 8.9.
Oh yeah, and one more thing…the original music in this season was good, but nothing compares to the Queen-style song from when Andrew thought he was gay in season one:
When I first had the idea to do an Always Sunny post, I was going to do my Top 25 episodes, but I couldn’t narrow it down that far. Then I was going to power rank every season of the show, and even that was too tough for me. For one thing, my personal preferences in terms of the show basically change every day, and for the other, it’s so tough to choose one great episode or season over another.
For more than a decade now, Always Sunny has consistently delivered laugh-out-loud funny television with a serious lack of critical recognition. They’ve developed an incredible lead cast as well as the best group of recurring side characters this side of Seinfeld. Given all of the recent developments in both the show (Dennis’ departure at the end of last season) and in real life (the Eagles winning the Super Bowl), I’m very excited to see what the show’s 13th season has to hold. So, without further ado, here’s a comprehensive breakdown of all twelve seasons of Always Sunny:
Season 1
Highlights: “Underage Drinking: A National Concern,” “Gun Fever,” “Charlie Has Cancer”
The show’s first season set the tone for the rest of the series. It showed off Rob McIlhenney, Glenn Howerton, and Charlie Day’s twisted sense of humor, and laid the groundwork for just how selfish and manipulative The Gang truly could be. It’s very funny, but as with most sitcoms, the show was still trying to figure a few things out, and Danny DeVito’s absence is definitely noticeable when you go back and rewatch this season.
In this season, we see Paddy’s turn into a gay bar, a bunch of high schoolers go to Paddy’s for some underage drinking, Charlie lying about having cancer so he can have a better shot with The Waitress, and we’re introduced to the McPoyles as they blackmail Charlie into winning a sexual abuse lawsuit against their elementary school gym teacher. After writing that out, it’s hard to believe that this show only gets more sick, twisted, and ridiculous.
Season 2
Highlights: “Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare,” “Mac Bangs Dennis’ Mom,” “Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody’s Ass,” “The Gang Goes Jihad”
Season 2 featured the introduction of Frank Reynolds, who would go on to become one of the show’s most important characters. As a matter of fact, FX told McIlhenney, Howerton, and Day that if they didn’t add a more famous actor to The Gang, the show would get canned. DeVito ended up being a valuable addition who has given the show some of its best moments.
As for the season itself, we see The Gang continue their downward spiral from the first season, except with the wealthy Frank behind them bankrolling all of their exploits. In this season, we see the gang make an al-Qaeda style tape threatening the new owner of their building, Dennis and Dee quitting their jobs at Paddy’s to go on welfare, Mac banging Dennis’ mom, and Dennis and Mac entering Charlie into an underground street fighting ring. This is also the season in which we first see just how illiterate Charlie is during Dennis’ campaign speech in The Gang Runs for Office:
This is also the season in which we first meet Rickety Cricket (The Gang Exploits a Miracle), whose life falls apart immediately after reuniting with Dee. Overall, it’s a very solid, very funny season that’s not as outlandish as some of the later seasons are.
Season 3
Highlights: “The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby,” “The Gang Gets Invincible,” “The Gang Gets Held Hostage,” “Mac is a Serial Killer,” “The Gang Gets Whacked,” “The Gang Dances Their Asses Off”
Season 3 is the longest season of the show, and it’s also when Always Sunny really started to hit its stride. The season begins with Dennis, Dee, and Mac finding a baby in the Paddy’s Pub dumpster, and it only gets crazier from there. This season, we see The Gang try out for the Eagles (it goes pretty much exactly how you would expect):
They also get held hostage in the bar by the McPoyles, convince Dee that the up-and-coming rapper she’s dating has a mental disability, carry out an investigation to see whether or not Mac is a serial killer (he’s not, he’s just having an affair with Carmen, the transgender Paddy’s patron we meet in the first season), and accidentally get tied up with the mafia after finding some of their nose clams:
In the season finale, Charlie accidentally puts Paddy’s up as a prize in a local radio show dance contest (“Your illiteracy has screwed us again!”), wrapping up the season in which we really get an idea of how borderline sociopathic the gang truly is.
Season 4
Highlights: “Mac’s Banging the Waitress,” “Mac and Charlie Die,” “Who Pooped the Bed?” “The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell,” “The Nightman Cometh”
The fourth season picks up right where the third leaves off. The run that the show goes on in this season is nothing short of impressive: Mac tries to sleep with The Waitress because he thinks Charlie destroyed one of his Project Badass tapes, Mac and Charlie fake their own deaths because they’re scared that Mac’s dad is going to kill them, they spend an episode trying to figure out whether it was Frank or Charlie who pooped in their shared bed, they kidnap a newspaper columnist who called Paddy’s “the worst bar in Philadelphia,” Dennis tries to get his erotic memoirs published, Dee has a heart attack, the guys try to get Paddy’s turned into an historical landmark, and The Gang kidnaps and then accidentally destroys the home of a local Hispanic family.
The pièce de résistance, however, comes in the season finale. Charlie, in a last-ditch attempt to get The Waitress to love him, writes a musical based on his Nightman character from Season 3. As you might expect, not everything goes exactly the way Charlie planned. Mac and Dennis get competitive over who is the better singer/showman, Dee has problems with some of the song lyrics (to be fair, they make it seem like she’s reeeeeeally into underage guys), and Frank doesn’t do much to stop the people from thinking that the Nightman is just some guy who pays for the opportunity to rape a young boy:
It turns out that the whole musical was just a front so that Charlie could propose to The Waitress with the musical number from above. Just a brilliant episode to top off a brilliant season of TV.
Season 5
Highlights: “The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention,” “The World Series Defense,” “Paddy’s Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens,” “Mac and Dennis Break Up,” “The D.E.N.N.I.S. System,” “The Gang Reignites the Rivalry”
Season 5 continues the heyday of Always Sunny. It features several of my favorite episodes of the series (the highlights from this season are so, so good). Here, we see Frank try to become “as depraved as possible” (and we’re introduced to Gail the Snail, Dennis and Dee’s garbage pail cousin), Charlie’s reaction to the news that the waitress is engaged (the scene where Dennis and Mac try to create a dating profile for Charlie is an all-timer), The Gang trying to create Paddy’s merchandise to sell at the bar, Mac and Dennis deciding to go on a break after Dee call out for being completely dependent on each other, and The Gang reigniting their flip cup rivalry with another local bar.
Season 5 also contains a few of the most rewatchable clips in the show. The most obvious one comes in The World Series Defense, when Dee reads Mac’s love letter to Chase Utley aloud in court:
We’re also introduced to the D.E.N.N.I.S. System, Dennis’ comprehensive approach to seduction that he has perfected over the years:
Overall, this is just an excellent season, no matter which way you put it.
Season 6
Highlights: “Mac Fights Gay Marriage,” “Dennis Gets Divorced,” “Who Got Dee Pregnant?” “The Gang Gets a New Member,” “Dee Reynolds: Shaping America’s Youth,” “A Very Sunny Christmas”
Always Sunny’s sixth season is the first time we really see the show experiment with storylines that run through multiple episodes (Mac Fights Gay Marriage into Dennis Gets Divorced;The Gang Gets a New Member into Dee Reynolds: Shaping America’s Youth). It’s the only time other than two-part episodes like The Gang Gets Whacked and Mac and Charlie Die that we see the show do so, and they do it very well. All four of these episodes are great on their own, but in pairs, they’re truly hilarious.
In this season, we also see the gang buy a P-Diddy esque shrimping boat, the guys try to figure out who got Dee pregnant at Paddy’s annual Halloween party (with some help from Artemis and the McPoyles), Charlie take a mental health/spa/spaghetti day while The Gang tries to put together a surprise birthday party for him, Dennis and Charlie meet Chase Utley and Ryan Howard while Dee, Mac, and Frank are stranded in the woods, Dee gives birth to Carmen and her husband’s baby, and the show’s only-ever Christmas episode. All told, it’s arguably one of the best seasons of the show.
Season 7
Highlights: “CharDee MacDennis: The Game of Games,” “The Gang Gets Trapped,” “How Mac Got Fat,” “Thunder Gun Express,” “The High School Reunion”
The seventh season is when the show really starts to develop the weird sense of humor that has become its calling card in the more recent seasons. For one thing, Mac is suddenly fat in this season and it isn’t explained at all until the tenth episode of the season. We also see Frank almost marry his favorite prostitute, The Gang goes to the Jersey Shore out of nostalgia and ends up with a…different kind of beach experience, and The Gang preparing for an incoming hurricane that local news stations are calling “The Storm of the Century.”
My personal favorites from this season come when we are introduced to The Gang’s homemade board game, CharDee MacDennis (a violent drinking game that mashes up the rules of every famous board game), when we see The Gang try to escape from a house they broke into to retrieve an “ancient artifact” (a vase from the 18th century recently sold at a museum auction), the story of Mac’s sudden weight gain, The Gang’s attempt to fight through traffic to see the blockbuster movie Thunder Gun Express, and The Gang’s high school reunion. For me this season starts out strong, gets a little slow in the middle, and then gets back on track and finishes strong at the end.
Season 8
Highlights: “The Gang Gets Analyzed,” “The Gang Dines Out,” “Reynolds vs. Reynolds: The Cereal Defense”
Season 8 is one of the weaker seasons of the show for me. Its highlights are very good, and it has a few solid episodes, but when compared to other seasons of the show, it doesn’t particularly stand out.
Standout episodes include The Gang interfering with Maureen Ponderosa’s wedding to Liam McPoyle (Dennis wants to make sure that the wedding happens so he can stop paying alimony while Frank and Dee agree to help Ryan McPoyle break it up), The Gang seeing a therapist as a group to decide who should wash the dishes after a group dinner, The Gang spending a night out at Guigino’s, the nicest restaurant in Philadelphia, and a full-on trial held in the bar after Frank rear-ends Dennis on the way to work. It’s an okay season, but kind of weak by Always Sunny standards.
Season 9
Highlights: “The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award,” “Mac Day,” “The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 6”
Season 9 is on a similar level to the eighth season for me. It has its high points, but overall, it’s a fairly forgettable season when compared to the rest of the show. The high points include the guys convincing Dee that she’s finally made it big as a standup comedian, a look at “Mac Day,” a day in which everyone has to do everything that Mac wants to do without complaining at all, The Gang getting caught in a convenience store during a robbery and imagining how they would go about saving the day, and The Gang making and pitching their homemade Lethal Weapon 6 to different investors.
My favorite episode of this season is The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award. This episode is a thinly-veiled metaphor for Always Sunny itself never gaining any real critical claim, despite years of commercial success and a die-hard fan base. In the episode, The Gang tries everything to win an award for Paddy’s: They go to another award-winning bar to see what it is that they do right (bright colors, will-they-won’t-they tension between two bartenders, one black guy in the mix to prove that it’s diverse enough), Charlie writes a song, and they even try to emulate a burlesque bar to see if they can win an award for being edgy. Eventually, they get tired of acting like they’re something they’re not, and they yell and spit at the awards committee (see above).
Season 10
Highlights: “The Gang Beats Boggs,” “Charlie Work,” “The Gang Spies Like U.S.,” “The Gang Goes on Family Fight”
The show’s tenth season is a lot stronger than the two that immediately preceded it. It’s still only ten episodes long, but the quality of the episodes is up a lot from the eighth and ninth season. In the season premiere, we see The Gang try to beat Wade Boggs’ drinking record of 70 beers on a cross-country flight, everyone attempting to online date, Dennis and Mac sending Dee across the street to spy on a neighboring fish factory so they can watch online porn, Mac setting out to prove that his dad is innocent in a murder trial, and The Gang going on a Family Feud-style game show.
The two best episodes of the season are the fifth and sixth, Charlie Work and The Gang Misses the Boat. In Charlie Work, Charlie tries to get the bar to pass health inspection while everyone else tries to carry out a crazy chicken and airline miles scheme. The episode features one of the best-directed scenes of the whole series, a longshot of Charlie scrambling to make sure everything can operate smoothly.
The Gang Misses theBoat is another metaphorical episode. In it, Dennis realizes just how weird The Gang has become (“Dee is in a Goddamn costume every other day! I think we have more costumes in the bar than we do kegs!”), and so he tries to sell his Land Rover and start anew. As you might expect, it doesn’t go as planned:
Meanwhile, Mac tries to reestablish himself as a party boy (which ultimately ends up providing more evidence that he’s actually gay), Frank accidentally ruins some new bar owners’ lives, and Charlie and Dee realize that the rest of The Gang really affects the way they think. (Charlie also admits that he eats the beak when he eats chicken). The Gang ends up agreeing that they should just go back to the way things were before the breakup.
Season 11
Highlights: “CharDee MacDennis 2: Electric Boogaloo,” “The Gang Hits the Slopes,” “McPoyle vs. Ponderosa: The Trial of the Century,” “Charlie Catches a Leprechaun,” “The Gang Goes to Hell”
The show’s eleventh season carries the momentum over from its tenth. It starts out with the second round of CharDee MacDennis we’ve seen onscreen, and includes gems like an 80s ski movie parody (where we also see a ridiculous sex scene between Charlie and Tatiana, Frank’s prostitute), an entire episode from Frank’s point of view (not a ridiculously funny episode, but I like it because they’re trying to keep things fresh), the series’ first St. Patrick’s Day episode (where Charlie sets a glue trap to catch a leprechaun), and end with The Gang nearly dying after boarding a doomed Christian cruise ship.
The season’s best episode is its seventh, McPoyle vs. Ponderosa: The Trial of the Century. Any time we see The Gang in a courtroom setting, it’s great, and here we see Charlie at his most lawyerish. The trial is regarding the incident at Maureen Ponderosa’s would-be wedding to Liam McPoyle at which Bill Ponderosa spiked the bowl of milk with bath salts. Charlie and his Uncle Jack are defending Bill, while the lawyer that The Gang has terrorized for years is defending the McPoyles. As you might expect, there is a serious lack of order in the court, and we end up with a lot of moments like the one in the video above.
Season 12
Highlights: “The Gang Goes to a Water Park,” “Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer,” “Hero or Hate Crime?” “PTSDee,” “A Cricket’s Tale”
Season 12 is a good-but-not-great season. It has a lot of funny moments, but not a ton of standout stuff. The season premiere is a musical episode in which a strange accident makes The Gang look black to everyone but themselves. There’s also funny episodes about The Gang’s exploits at a water park, Frank’s shell beverage company accidentally becoming the officially sponsor of Boko Haram, and Dee’s habit of unwittingly ruining the lives of every man she dates.
The big highlights of this season for me come from the episodes Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer and A Cricket’s Tale. Similarly to Being Frank, they’re episodes that show that the show is still willing to try new things. The former episode is a parody of Making a Murderer, showing a documentary made by Mac that connects Dennis to the suspicious death of Maureen Ponderosa. The latter is an episode that follows Rickety Cricket for a day in his life. It’s about as hectic as you would expect it to be, with Cricket nearly saving his family’s company, but ends with the revelation that Cricket has been hallucinating on PCP the whole time.
Oh yeah, in the season finale, it’s revealed that Dennis has been hiding a secret family, and at the end, he decides to leave The Gang behind to be with his son and the child’s mother:
We haven’t really been given a straight answer as to whether Dennis will be back this season, but I sure hope he is. Here’s the trailer for Season 13, which debuts next Wednesday, September 5 on FXX:
Mac looks like a 10. The rumors that Mindy Kaling is joining the show appear to be true. I can’t wait to see what the show has up its sleeve for the 13th season.
Okay, full disclosure: I was working during the first game of this double header so I didn’t get to watch and, from the looks of it, I shouldn’t be too upset about missing that one. The Phillies lost 24-4 against a straight-up putrid Mets offense. They gave up 11 (!!!!) unearned runs, becoming the first team since the 2008 Angels to give up more than 10 unearned runs in a game. Poor Mark Leiter Jr. gave up 7 runs, and exactly 0 of them were earned. They became the first team ever to hit four home runs in a game (all solo) and still lose by 20 runs. The Mets became the first team since 1894 to score 24+ runs and allow 24+ runs in the same season (The Phillies were one of four teams to accomplish that feat that year, along with the Boston Beaneaters, Chicago Colts, and Pittsburgh Pirates). The Phillies were Actually Bad™ during the first game of this double header.
Now, onto tonight’s game that I actually got a chance to watch. This one was a lot easier to stomach as a Phillies fan. The Phillies donned their powder blue throwback uniforms, got a good enough start out of Zac Eflin, the offense woke up, and the team took care of business. Here’s what I liked and what I didn’t from tonight’s win.
What I Liked
Rhys Hoskins. After the Phillies went down 2-0 in the first inning, Rhys responded by hitting a 3-run home run off the foul pole netting that gave the Phillies a lead they would never give up. It was his 25th of the year, as he finished 2-3 with 3 RBIs.
Scott Kingery. Kingery’s role has been reduced a lot since the Phillies traded for Asdrubal Cabrera. He took advantage of his start tonight, going 2-4 with a home run, his 6th of the season. He also became the first player since 1968 to pitch in Game 1 of a double header and homer in Game 2.
Cesar Hernandez. One night after I questioned his spot at the top of the lineup, Cesar shut me up by going 2-4 with a walk, an RBI double, and 3 runs. Credit where credit is due, Cesar did a great job tonight.
Wilson Ramos. The new guy had another good night, this time going 3-5 with a double and an RBI.
What I Didn’t
Yacksel Rios. Rios made things a little too interesting for my liking in the ninth inning, allowing two runs before Seranthony Dominguez cleaned up his mess.
Honestly, there wasn’t a lot for me to dislike in this game. Eflin had a solid starting performance, allowing 4 runs in 6.2 innings. Every starter besides Eflin had at least one hit. The defense only allowed one error after allowing four in the first game (baby steps).
What I Like the Most
Phillies win. With the Braves’ loss to the Rockies earlier in the night, the Phillies pull to within 1.5 games of the division lead. They’re tied with the Brewers for the wild card lead. Tomorrow night’s matchup between Aaron Nola and Noah Syndergaard should be a lot of fun. Be Bold kids, I’ll talk to you all then.
– just look at the girth on this guy
ReJoyce 