Author: tommyjoyce7

I just wrapped up watching the newest collection of Jerry Seinfeld’s hit Netflix series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. As the title implies, the show allows Seinfeld to chop it up with his favorite funny people while showing off his extensive knowledge of classic cars. Here are 20 comedians I’d like to see Seinfeld drive around whenever the next season of the show comes out (I was going to attempt to say what cars should be matched with each comedian, but then I realized I know nothing about cars):

1. Steve Carell: Carell (The Office, Anchorman, Crazy, Stupid Love) is a hilarious guy, and I’d love to hear his ridiculous laugh throughout an episode.
2. Tom Segura/Christina P: This married pair have a crackling chemistry on their podcast, “Your Mom’s House,” and their bizarre, somewhat gross sense of humor would clash with Seinfeld’s observational humor in a beautiful way.
3. Bert Kreischer: Kreischer (Bert the Conquerer, The Machine on Netflix) is one of the best onstage storytellers in the stand-up game right now, and I’d love to see a conversation between his wild stories and Seinfeld’s witty observations.
4. Joe Rogan: Rogan (The Joe Rogan Experience) is one of the best interviewers on the planet, and it’s rare to see him playing the role of the interviewee. Rogan would do well on Comedians in Cars because of the show’s conversational nature. Also, I’d love to hear Rogan ask Seinfeld if he’s ever done DMT.
5. Pete Holmes: Holmes (creator and star of HBO’s Crashing, host of TBS’s The Pete Holmes Show) is one of my favorite comedians, and his puppy-like sense of wonder contrasted by Seinfeld’s grounded cynicism would make for great TV.
6. Mark Normand: Normand, another one of my personal favorites (Comedy Central special Don’t Be Yourself), is wickedly sharp and Seinfeld recently cited him as the next big name in comedy. I’d love to hear them swap stories and discuss their favorite old-school comedians.
7. Hannibal Burress: Burress (The Eric Andre Show, Broad City) is a very funny guy and a great observational stand-up. It would be great to see him and Seinfeld riff with each other.
8. Bill Hader: Seinfeld loves a good impression, and Hader (a longtime SNL standout and the creator/star of HBO’s Barry) is among the best impressionists out there, and is always a great interview.
9. Nate Bargatze: Bargatze (Comedy Central’s Full-Time Magic, Netflix’s The Tennessee Kid) is a hilarious comedian with a gift for telling stories. The show lends itself to great stories, so Bargatze would be a natural.
10. Michelle Wolf: Wolf exploded as a comedian after everyone freaked out about her set at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner in 2018, and she and Seinfeld would have fascinating discussions about the craft of comedy.
11. Amy Poehler: Poehler (SNL, the star of Parks and Recreation, a bunch of movies) is a hilarious person. Her discussion with Seinfeld would be awesome (just like her friend Tina Fey’s episode of the show was).
12. Tim Robinson: After a sub-par run on SNL a few years back, Robinson exploded this year with the success of his Netflix sketch show, I Think You Should Leave. I’d love to see Seinfeld dig into his bizarre, hilarious mind.
13. Nathan Fielder: Fielder (creator and star of Comedy Central’s Nathan for You) is incredibly funny and dubbed by many as the King of Awkward Comedy. His dynamic with Seinfeld would be very entertaining (think a better version of the Comedians in Cars episode featuring Miranda Sings).
14. Mike Birbiglia: Birbiglia (Sleepwalk With Me, multiple specials on Netflix) has a conversational feel about him that would fit well within the show.
15. Anthony Jeselnik: Jeselnik (The Jeselnik Offensive, multiple Netflix specials, multiple Comedy Central Roasts) is the king of dark, deadpan humor. Also, he confirmed that Seinfeld doesn’t hate him, so why not?
16. Michael Che: I prefer Che over his SNL Weekend Update co-host Colin Jost. He and Seinfeld could swap showbiz stories for hours.
17. Jim Norton: Norton (The Jim and Sam Show on SiriusXM Channel 103, Multiple EPIX and Netflix specials) is brutally honest, which plays perfectly with Seinfeld. This would be a wildly entertaining episode with some great stories being thrown around.
18. Adam Sandler: Sandler (SNL, the Happy Madison Cinematic Universe, 100% Fresh on Netflix) is a very funny guy, and he always seems to have a new Chris Farley story up his sleeve, which would make this episode worth it on its own.
19. Ray Romano: Romano (Everybody Loves Raymond, The Big Sick) is a comedy veteran who, like Seinfeld, parlayed a rapid rise through the New York comedy scene into a wildly successful sitcom. A conversation between these two would be awesome. DEBRAAAAAAAAAAAA!
20. Ken Jeong: Jeong (The Hangover, Community) is a former doctor who decided to pursue a career in comedy. It worked out for him, because he’s a hilarious guy with a great delivery. Seinfeld would be endlessly entertained by him.

If you’re at all interested in comedy and you haven’t watched Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, get on it as fast as possible. Seinfeld attracts a wide range of guests, from his personal favorites (Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner, Don Rickles), to his friends (Larry David, Garry Shandling), to the up-and-comers (Hasan Minhaj, Trevor Noah).

Disclaimer: If any of these guests appear on the next collection of episodes, then Seinfeld has to give me $100,000. It’s in writing, so this is legally binding.

^What it would look like if John Mayer and I hung out at a Bravo event

Last Monday night, I saw John Mayer at the Wells Fargo Center. HOOOOO BOY, did ol’ Johnny put on a show. Many of you know I’m a Mayer stan. He’s a world-class musician, he’s proven to have staying power over a nearly 20-year professional career, and his social media presence makes me jealous on a daily basis.

So anyway, as I was sitting and watching in awe as Mayer shredded, the thought popped into my head: “If I ever met John Mayer, what would I say?” I know it’s unlikely I ever run into him at, like, Target or something, but hey, it doesn’t hurt to have a plan in place.

Without further ado, here is every question I’d like to ask John Mayer:

1. How is Moose doing?
2. How many guitars do you bring on tour with you?
3. Given how much you change guitars mid-show, how many guitars would you say you play during an average show?
4. How much do you practice guitar outside of touring/shows?
5. Do you ever take a break from music after a long tour?
6. If you would play with any musician or band, dead or alive, that you haven’t play with, who would it be?
7. Do you ever get tired of playing any of your songs after touring for a while?
8. Is there any song of yours that you wish you got to play more on tour?
9. When writing a song with another artist, what is the creative process like?
10. Can you do a cartwheel?
11. What’s your favorite Grateful Dead song?
12. Were you nervous at first stepping into such a huge role in a cultural phenomenon like the Grateful Dead?
13. Have you ever gone out and experienced Shakedown Street for yourself before a Dead & Company show?
14. How do you go about selecting people for your band on tour?
15. Who’s been your favorite guest on Current Mood?
16. Speaking of Current Mood, what inspired the pants-out theorem?
17. When writing a new song, what comes first: lyrics or music?
18. Was there a moment where it struck you that you wanted to become a musician, or was that feeling always there?
19. What is your favorite song to cover? (My personal favorite)
20. What’s your favorite thing about Montana?
21. What does Pino Palladino smell like?
22. What do you do to kill time while on the road?
23. How did your PRS Guitar collaboration come about?
24. What’s your favorite pair of sneakers?
25. What’s the most underrated city in which you’ve performed?
26. What’s your favorite late-night talk show to perform on?
27. Do you watch TV? What’s your favorite show?
28. I know you’re busy with tour and all, but can you get back to tweeting more?
29. How many tattoos do you have?
30. What’s the process of designing tour merchandise like?
31. How long did it take your body to recover from doing Hot Ones?
32. Do you ever miss your 2013-era long hair?
33. Are you ever going to bring the hat back?
34. What song of yours took the longest to write?
35. What’s the craziest gift a fan ever gave you?
36. Who’s a personal hero of yours who you’ve met that lived up to your expectations, personality-wise?
37. Is there anyone you’re scared to meet because you don’t want to ruin your personal image of them for yourself?
38. When you write a song about someone, do you tell them about it before it’s released?
39. Can we expect any more new music from you soon?
40. Do you want to hang out with me?
41. Please?

What did you guys think of this? Should I write out the questions I have for other celebrities I like? Drop me a line.

What a win for the boys! The Sixers grabbed an early lead and never looked back, leading wire-to-wire behind a dominant performance by Joel Embiid. After nearly missing Game 2 with “The Shits,” Embiid finished with 33 points, 10 rebounds, 3 assists, and 5 blocks, making a huge impact on both ends of the court (especially when defending Marc Gasol and Pascal Siakim). Jimmy Butler was the team’s catalyst once again, going for 22, 9, and 9 while playing stout defense of his own. Ben Simmons managed to slow down Kawhi Leonard enough defensively that the Raptors were forced to rely on their other options, which has not gone well for them in the past two games (Leonard didn’t have a bad game by any stretch of the imagination, but he was forced to take some tough shots and defer to his teammates more than Toronto would like).

Brett Brown once again outcoached Nick Nurse, switching up his lineups and schemes to minimize defensive liabilities like JJ Redick (not to single out JJ, but his best defensive outings are the ones where you go “Oh wow, I didn’t really notice JJ on defense tonight”). The team also spread the ball around on offense, with each starter scoring in double figures. Brett catches a lot of heat for his mistakes, so I hope a lot of people give him credit for his great performance so far in this series.

I’m sure the Raptors are starting to really feel the pressure now. A close, ugly Game 2 loss can be written off as a fluke: it was the first time in his career that Leonard lost a game against the Sixers, and his supporting cast had a terrible performance. Tonight’s game was different, though: the Sixers came out, punched the Raptors in the mouth, and kept punching well after the bell had been rung. Game 4 is Sunday afternoon in Philadelphia, and you can bet that both the Sixers and their fans will come out with the same intensity that they brought tonight.

Sixers in 6. Angelo Cataldi can kiss my ass.

***Spoilers for Avengers: Endgame, obviously.***

In case you missed it, I made some predictions as to things that would happen in Avengers: Endgame. Despite being one of the most hotly anticipated movies ever, it managed to be relatively difficult to predict. Let’s take a look at just how wrong I was:

We’ll see Professor Hulk. In a new poster, we see the Hulk in what appears to be his final form. He looks more like Bruce Banner than he usually does in Hulk form, which likely means we’ll meet Professor Hulk, a comic book character who has the brains of Banner with the brawn of the Hulk.

This one was a bit of a freebie because of promotional images, but sometimes you need a layup to heat up a little bit. Prediction Counter: 1/1

Black Widow and Okoye team up to do something cool. I’m not sure what that cool thing will be, because they’re two of the more grounded Avengers going up against the most powerful being in the universe, but they had a moment where they fought alongside Scarlet Witch in Infinity War and I just have a feeling they’ll be teaming up again in this movie.

This one didn’t happen because Black Widow sacrificed herself for the Soul Stone. There was a similar scene where all of the lady Avengers teamed up to help move the Iron Gauntlet to the quantum realm machine, but not specifically Nat and Okoye. Prediction Counter: 1/2

Wong comes out of nowhere to become a key piece of the puzzle. After the Time Stone was taken in Infinity War, Wong dipped to protect the New York Sanctum from Doctor Strange. It’s been confirmed that actor Benedict Wong will be back for this movie, so I think it’s fair to assume he’s going to do some Master of the Mystic Arts stuff.

This is semi-true, right? He did come out of nowhere (through one of those portals) with a bunch of sorcerers. I’m giving this one to myself. Prediction Counter: 2/3

Captain Marvel doesn’t play as big of a role as we’re led to believe. I think this movie is going to focus more on coming full circle with the OG Avengers, so they won’t focus on a brand-new character in Endgame.

This is true. Although she has some important moments, Captain Marvel was gallivanting around the galaxy for the majority of this movie. Prediction Counter: 3/4

Rocket Raccoon has more of a role than we’re led to believe. Rocket is crafty, knows the ins and outs of space travel, and presumably knows a lot about Thanos from his travels with Gamora. I have a feeling Rocket will be a key player.

Rocket is about as important in this movie as you would expect. He flies the ship and does his job when collecting the stones. I’m not giving myself this one. Prediction Counter: 3/5

It takes more than one shot at Thanos to win. I imagine the team’s going to come up with a plan, fight Thanos once, maybe lose a few Avengers, and come away with two or three stones. Then, they’ll be able to take down the Mad Titan once the playing field is leveled.

I’m not sure how to score this one. Technically they went after Thanos twice, but the first time it was a futile attempt after he destroyed the Infinity Stones and the second time was a past version of Thanos traveling into the future to redo the snap. I’m gonna give myself half a point here. Prediction Counter: 3.5/6

Captain America delivers the final blow to Thanos. Cap hasn’t really had a huge shining moment in any Avengers movie, despite being the team’s leader. He had that moment in Infinity War where he stopped Thanos from closing his fist for a few seconds, but other than that he hasn’t had a signature moment in a non-Captain America movie. I think he’ll be the one to take Thanos down once and for all, possibly by using one of the Infinity Stones.

Nope. Iron Man sacrifices himself to snap Thanos and his cronies out of existence. It was super cool to see Cap throwing Thor’s hammer around, though. Prediction Counter: 3.5/7

Lots of deaths. My guesses: Iron Man, The Hulk, Rhodey, Hawkeye, and Thanos (duh). There are several reasons I picked this lineup. I think Rhodey will be one of the first to go since he’s one of the less-equipped Avengers going into this battle. Hawkeye will be forced to make a choice between himself and his dusted family, and he’ll choose them. I don’t know if I trust Bruce Banner’s instincts in battle even when he has the strength of the Hulk, and he’s an outside-the-box pick to die that no one is really talking about. Finally, I think Tony Stark is going down in the final battle against Thanos, which will give Steve Rogers the motivation/power to wield one of the Stones against Thanos. Thanos dies because he’s the bad guy, and that’s what bad guys do in these movies.

I went 2/5 (Iron Man and Thanos) on this one and would have been 3/5 if Black Widow let Hawkeye sacrifice himself for the Soul Stone. I’m giving myself another half. Prediction Counter: 4/7

Time gets turned back and all the characters who got snapped to dust will return. I mean, this one is basically a forgone conclusion. We know that Spider-Man has another movie coming out this summer, and sequels for characters like Black Panther, Doctor Strange, and the Guardians of the Galaxy have been confirmed.

Yep. They all made awesome entrances, too. Prediction Counter: 5/8

Steve Rogers survives, but decides to step away from the Avengers after this. After taking Thanos down, Captain America will step down and finally retire after years of saving the world. The Captain America shield will get passed on to one of his friends (my guess is Bucky, but there have also been rumors that Falcon will take over), and we’ll see him pop up here and there, but he’ll take a backseat moving forward.

Nailed it. I’m kind of confused how the timeline works since Captain America is all old at the end, but he still survives the battle and decides to step down, then gives Falcon his shield to take over as Captain America. Prediction Counter: 6/9

…

All in all, not bad! Maybe I’m super smart or maybe I need to try out some hotter takes. I still need to finish my full in-depth recap/review of the movie, so keep an eye out for that this week.

Welcome back everybody! Last night in Game of Thrones’ newest episode ‘The Long Night,’ the living army featuring most of our favorite characters took on the White Walkers, led by the ruthless Night King. I wrote a blog predicting who would go down, so let’s see just how wrong I was. (Spoiler alert: I was very wrong)

–My death predictions: Brienne of Tarth, Jaime Lannister, Podrick Payne, Greyworm, Gendry, Theon Greyjoy, Davos Seaworth, Lyanna Mormont, Jorah Mormont, Samwell Tarly, The People from the Soup Line (from last week’s episode), Everyone in the Crypt

–Who Actually Died: Lyanna Mormont, Jorah Mormont, Theon Greyjoy, the little girl from the soup line, Jon and Sam’s friend from the Night’s Watch (I’m not sure what his name is but you know who I’m talking about, the one with the long hair and the receding hairline), Ser Beric, The Red Woman

–So How’d I Do? Not great. Only 4 of the 16 people I thought would die actually bit the dust, plus I missed three others. I’m really surprised we didn’t see more people get killed.

As for the episode itself, I didn’t totally love it. The more I think about it, the more disappointed I am. It was difficult to see what was going on the whole time because it was dark and the camera was shaking a lot. I thought we would see more major characters go down (obviously), and there were several times I thought Jaime, Brienne, and Sam died because of the way it was presented. Sam, by the way, should have stayed in the crypt. You can’t be all “I’ve killed a White Walker before, I should be out there for the battle!” then whimper your way through said battle.

And how about the Night King? What a fraud! When he doesn’t have an undead army and some insane magic on his side, he’s not so tough. He robbed us of an awesome one-on-one fight scene between him and Jon Snow, then strutted over to Bran and got killed by a teenager (okay, I’m not exactly sure how old Arya is considered to be in the show but she’s on the younger side). Also, what the hell was Bran doing this whole episode? He warged into a raven, did nothing of use, then came back to give a bad pep talk to Theon and almost die at the hand of the Night King.

As a matter of fact, I felt like a lot of this episode was us coming close to satisfying moments, getting a taste, then being let down. The Night King vs. Jon scene, most of the death scenes (except the Mormonts, they’re champions), the Night King’s death itself. All of these things felt like they weren’t fleshed out enough for me. As far as Game of Thrones battle episodes, this one ranks toward the bottom with me.

Last night’s Twitter memes were elite though.

In case you’ve been living under a rock, Game of Thrones’ final season is in full swing. After two episodes of setup, the Battle of Winterfell is upon us. The show’s creators say the episode will feature the longest battle sequence in TV or movie history, and most of the show’s fan favorites will be joining in the fight for the living against the Army of the Dead. It’s basically a guarantee that a lot of our favorite characters will be taken out in this battle…so who’s going down? Here are my best guesses:

–Brienne of Tarth. Ser Brienne was knighted by Jaime Lannister in last week’s episode, which essentially completes her story arc. This show doesn’t keep characters around for no reason. Brienne is as good as gone.

–Jaime Lannister. Jaime will be fighting alongside Brienne. He admitted that he’s not as good a soldier as he used to be last week, so something tells me this will be the last time we see him.

–Podrick Payne. The well-endowed young man with a golden singing voice is Brienne’s loyal squire. He’ll probably go down trying to save her, but end up getting himself killed in the process.

–Greyworm. The leader of the Unsullied made plans to grow old on a beach with Missandei in last week’s episode, which is the Game of Thrones equivalent of being a police officer who announces he’s retiring in two days. He’s dead.

–Gendry. Sex scenes result in pregnancies every time it’s good for the plot in GoT, which means Arya is probably carrying Gendry Jr. after their romp last week. This also means that Gendry is getting killed off tonight.

–Theon Greyjoy. Theon volunteered to protect Bran Stark while he sits as bait for the Night King. Theon’s had some successful fight sequences, but the Night King is gonna make quick work of him.

–Davos Seaworth. Ser Davos mentioned that he managed to survive the Battle of the Bastards and the Battle of the Blackwater without any real combat skills in the last episode. The third time will be the charm (or lack thereof).

–Lyanna Mormont. The only time we saw Lady Lyanna last week was when she was telling her cousin, Ser Jorah, that she was fit for battle and didn’t need to stay in the crypt during the fight. She’s dead.

–Jorah Mormont. Samwell gave Jorah his family’s sword last week, and Jorah said he would wield it in his father’s honor. Fighting for a cause? He’s toast.

–Samwell Tarly. Sam gave up his Valyrian steel sword the night before a battle against an enemy that’s only killed by Valyrian steel and dragonglass. What an idiot! (Sub-prediction: After Jorah dies, Sam will pick the sword up and do some damage, but eventually die at the hand of the Night King)

–The people from the soup line in last week’s episode. This includes the group of men who complained to Davos that they weren’t fit for battle when they were in the soup line last week, and the little girl who wanted to know if she should be in the crypt or not during the battle. There was no reason to add these characters in other than making the audience form a small connection with them before killing them off.

–Everyone in the Crypt. Jon Snow (noted tactical genius) has a very smart plan to put all the women and children of Winterfell in the castle’s crypt because it’s safe and underground. What could possibly go wrong? What’s that? Everything? Yeah, pretty much everything can go wrong here. The crypt has one entrance, it’s dark, and it’s full of centuries’ worth of dead bodies. That makes it almost too easy for the Night King. Tyrion, Missandei, Gilly, Young Sam, and basically everyone else, it was nice to know you.

Body Count: At least 18 people.

This review does not contain spoilers for Avengers: Endgame. I’ll be posting a longer, more in-depth, spoilery review at some point today/this weekend.

In case you’re still cleaning up from your housewarming party at your new home under a rock, Avengers: Endgame hits theaters this weekend. It’s an epic three-hour conclusion to the Infinity Saga of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and I couldn’t think of a better way to wrap things up for this phase of this incredible franchise.

There were so many great things about this movie, I’m having trouble figuring out where to start. Despite being one of the most-hyped movies ever, it manages to surprise the audience throughout. The acting performances were great, and despite being three hours long, the story was brisk and action-packed. It felt like every Avenger had their moment to shine despite an enormous ensemble cast, something the Russo brothers have gotten down to a science during their time making movies in this universe.

Endgame does a great job of creating a new story while also rewarding fans who have seen every MCU movie. There were tons of fan-pleasing moments, callbacks, and other moments I can’t get into without ruining the movie. I’ve never had a theater experience like the one I had last night. People were laughing, crying, cheering, gasping. It was like being at the Super Bowl mixed with a Def Jam comedy show. It was insane.

If I had to rate this movie on a scale of 1-10, I’d give it a 9.8. There are a few things that didn’t work for me, but overall the movie was a cinematic achievement that should be celebrated. The Russo brothers and Kevin Feige are masters at their craft, and their ability to create a comprehensive cinematic universe where most of the movies manage to feel fresh (if you look at things purely on a surface level they may seem formulaic, but if you dig a little deeper you realize that’s not really true) is nothing short of impressive.