Shoutout to Steve @Steve__Maloney for choosing my Roman-themed theme song
It all started with a simple tweet. I saw this promotion for Magnum condoms on my timeline, laughed because I thought about Dr. Mantis Toboggan talking about his Magnum Dong:
So I sent out a simple tweet and my high school classmate/fellow Tim Robinson enthusiast Max responded in kind:
For the uninitiated, Roman Swipes are a revolutionary product designed to help men last longer in bed. To use, simply take the swipe out of the packet, apply to the affected area, let dry, and Roman will help you live up to your stallion-esque potential by desensitizing your ding dong.
After I sent a pretty lackluster joke in response, Roman caught wind and sent a link to buy some swipes:
Naturally, I asked how I could get some free stuff from Roman so I wouldn’t have to try thinking about baseball or saying the alphabet backwards to last longer in bed:
Roman threw down the gauntlet:
And the game was afoot. I tasked my followers with pushing me over the hump (no pun intended):
And thanks to 26 of the 671 beautiful people who follow me, I now have a free month’s worth of Roman swipes being sent right to my front door in discreet packaging (I live with my parents, so the discreet packaging is actually very helpful and is going to save me at least one awkward conversation with a my devout Catholic parents).
The folks at Roman couldn’t have been nicer, and I’m now officially on Team Roman for life. Use promo code TOMMY for 20% off at checkout*!
*Not really, but how awesome would it be if Roman started paying me? Roman, if you’re reading this, please pay me. I’m current unemployed and need a win
ReJoyce 